Review - Skyline Skaters

by Jon Evans

Format reviewed on iPad 3
Developers; Tactile Entertainment
Publisher; Tactile Entertainment
Formats; iOS
Release Date; 3/4/14
Skyline Skaters is a free to play title for iOS that comes from Danish Developer, Tactile Entertainment. It is an endless runner where you skate across the roof tops, jumping gaps, avoiding obstacles and collecting coins and power ups and, yes, it offers in-app purchases. 

Let me start by saying I love games. That's why I write about them, and why I play them and read about them and go to shows about them. Skyline Skaters doesn't love games, it loves money. The whole structure of this game is set up to rinse you of your cash. This is nothing new, but I despair that there are still games being made by talented developers with the main purpose of rinsing children of their meagre pocket money. Free to Play is no longer an excuse to produce such a cynical excuse for lining greedy developers pockets any more. We need to stop playing them.
I am by no means, the demographic for this game, and I can accept that. I can, however, appreciate the game mechanics and enjoyment gained from any game as part of a review. I am not a massive Nintendo fan, but can understand the genius involved with the creation of something like Super Mario Galaxy, which is drenched with originality and variety and, above all, love of pure, unfettered fun and wonder. 

I can also understand that in-game purchases are here to stay. They are not the main stay of mobile games either. I've spent plenty of extra cash in games like Gran Turismo, Killzone and Battlefield (if you count Battlefield Premium as an IAP). I'm happy to purchase things to improve my enjoyment, whether it's being able to drive around in a nice looking car, have a Cath Kidston skin on my drone companion, or be able to play in community events. Yes, a nicer car may help me get round a track faster and Battlefield Premium gives you a quicker route to XP and fast track you certain weapons, but they're not essential in the enjoyment of the game. Skyline Skaters is not the first nor the last game to do this but here I shall explain how it does it as a warning to all you lovely readers and to help you avoid ever downloading a game like this in the first place. 
To help you out I'm going to compare this game with another 'endless' skater I recently reviewed, OlliOlli. To put this in context, OlliOlli costs the same as the first three in-app purchases from Skyline Skaters. OlliOlli implements a system of collectibles to add challenge and variety to the game and to extend replayability. You can play the whole game, and garner the maximum enjoyment out of it by spending no more than the equivalent of large fish and chips takeaway. Skyline Skaters forces you to upgrade and skip ahead in so many different ways that, should you want to get further than the perfunctory distance I can get with my old, slow valium-soaked reactions you would need to spend a minimum of £.1.49. This gets you ten 'Bucks' which will let you 'try again' for a further 5 levels after falling, crashing or being hit by a rocket. £2.99 gets you 35 Bucks and so on. Bucks unlock superboxes (containing unlocks and extra items, sometimes, bizarrely, Bucks). Even the beginning of each level overlays boosts and unlocks to use in the game over the actual gameplay as you start. "BUY THESE NOW, YOU DONT HAVE THE SKILL OR TIME! BUY THEM NOOOOWWWWWW!!!" .
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You can also buy items with the coins that you collect in-game, but the cost of these soon scale up to a point where endless grinding can only you earn you so many items. Coins let you buy powerups such as magnets which suck up coins, score doublers, or shields to protect you against rockets. Unbelievably, you still need to actually jump and catch these power-ups in-game so if you miss them, you've paid for them without actually getting them. Coins also let you unlock achievements, negating the need, or the desire to actually play the game and to enjoy the thrill of winning the achievements by skill and dexterity alone. 

Shelling out more cash buys extra skaters, all with differing attributes that help you progress in game. 'Christy' has a the ability to triple jump when in the air, allowing you to get higher or avoid falling in longer gaps. She costs 450,000 coins. I played for an hour, and earned about 30.000 coins. So, I could unlock her after 15 hours gameplay. If I couldn't wait that long, 10 hours of gameplay would unlock 'Barry' who is the tank player and whose motto is, "Brawns before Brains'". There's nothing wrong with unlocking and grinding, goodness knows I've put similar time into online multiplayer games, but I can't see how I wouldn't get bored of 'tap to jump' mechanics after all that time. In OlliOlli I never, once, wished I could change the way my Skater looked, nor upgrade his Skateboard (whoever calls them Skateboards? They're called Decks. Tactile Entertainment are very obviously not Skaters). I was too busy enjoying the deep control system and engaging gameplay.
Are you annoyed yet? If not, you also have the ability to annoy your friends too. On top of all this, you can gain extra coins by posting everything you do on Facebook. Every time you level up, buy a new item, unlock achievements or get crapped on by a sea gull (lie) you can post this information to your Facebook page, earning you an uncharacteristically high amount of coinage. Tactile are getting you to promote their cash cow app, to your friends on Facebook in an incessant stream of cutesy, kiddy mundanity . Each post is a cynical cartoony link straight to the Skyline Skaters Facebook page where you and other coin-op retarded gaming-by-numbers zombies can post your simpering delight about buying a skateboard with a picture of a ying-yang symbol painted on it. Sigh.
I wanted to end on a positive note. The game is free. There is no pressure for you to download this, nor pay any of the IAPs as long as you don't mind grinding and playing the same initial level over and over again. You probably need to be 12 to enjoy this, and I have seen children of this age play a variety of endless runners and enjoy them thoroughly. The levels become more varied and interesting as you skate further distances, although these become a bit of a blur as you speed up. The game is fairly pretty without actually pushing the capabilities of the iPad, and looks like it has taken inspiration from the Joe Danger games in its art style. The soundtrack is quirky, and each skater gets their own theme music, although I was mildly offended by the calm, pretty, jingly-jangly music for Mia, a female skater. Why does Matt, the default male skater, get the thrash metal track and Mia gets a track that could be played in the My Little Pony Game? Has Tactile never heard of Avril Lavigne? The controls are simplistic in the extreme and the game runs fairly smoothly even on an older model iPad. Um, the Facebook integration is very smooth and efficient. Ummm.... The game does have a personality, but the personality of EasyJet; colourful and initially a good deal, but lots of extra costs which will suck you dry. For goodness sake, go an play OlliOlli instead.
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Wrap Up

The Good - Good looking visuals, simple controls.

The Bad - In-app purchases, Facebook whoring and general cynicism and malaise. Only download if you're a bored 12-year old with the bank account of Kanye West. 

1/5
Game provided by developer.
All images screenshots from the game